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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391422">sellers of flowers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagscrib/pseuds/sagscrib'>sagscrib</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a sad ending, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love, do not read this if you want to have a good time, hes trans in like. all my fics so it honestly slipped my mind, i forgot to add this earlier but takemichi is trans in this one, its not a source of angst hes just dysphoric for a little, like. SAD sad, this ones sad yall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:27:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagscrib/pseuds/sagscrib</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He hadn’t gone to the doctor to verify, but coughing up petals could only mean a few things, and Takemichi couldn’t remember eating any lavender recently. That meant chances were pretty good it was Hanahaki, which was a problem for a number of reasons.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Yukimaru Takemichi/Oowada Mondo (one-sided)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sellers of flowers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>uhh sorry lol<br/>for best results listen to sellers of flowers by regina spektor and look up the meaning of lavender</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He hadn’t gone to the doctor to verify, but coughing up petals could only mean a few things, and Takemichi couldn’t remember eating any lavender recently. That meant chances were pretty good it was Hanahaki, which was a problem for a number of reasons.</p><p>The first being that there was no way he could afford the surgery- even if he started saving now, he’d be dead before he had near enough money, and Lord knows his foster family wouldn’t help out.</p><p>The Oowadas probably would, but they were always just as short on cash as he was. He couldn’t ask that of them. Hell, he didn’t think he could even let them <em> know- </em> that was the other half of it.</p><p>It was Mondo. <em> Of course </em> it was Mondo. From the moment Takemichi met him, he knew it could never be anyone else. And Mondo didn’t feel the same- wouldn’t, at the least, and couldn’t, at the most- which meant the Oowadas would probably feel <em> obligated. </em> Which was an awful concept.</p><p>That was it, then. Takemichi was going to die, and there wasn’t much anyone could do about it.</p><p>He had practice resigning himself to death- this time wouldn’t be any different. Except this time, there wouldn’t be any changing of homes or shitty, state-ordered social workers and therapists- he’d just be gone, and that’d be the end of it. That security was both terrifying and comforting, somehow.</p><p>Of course, he didn’t have a specific date- just a range of time. A few months, maybe a year. If he started smoking more, he could probably get that up to a year and a half, if he was lucky.</p><p>18 months. That… that was enough time. Sure, he’d never get married (not that he’d be able to <em> really </em> get married, legally speaking), or adopt a kid, or…</p><p>He sniffled. This wasn’t a good train of thought. 18 months would be enough. It had to.</p><hr/><p>The idea of dropping out of school was appealing for a while, but once Takemichi realized that it would worry Daiya- or worse, disappoint him- it was off the table. He spent significantly less time worrying about his grades, though, and they consequently slipped. Since there was no way for Daiya to find out, he figured that was fine.</p><p>Daiya <em> did </em>notice him sneaking out for smoke breaks during meetings, and Takemichi supposed that didn’t sit right with him, because he came out to talk with him.</p><p>“You’re gonna fuck yer lungs up, little man,” he said, making Takemichi jump. The action dislodged something in his chest, and he coughed up a few small, purple petals.</p><p>His attempt to shove them back in his mouth before Daiya noticed was moot. When he looked back, the man fixed him with a concerned stare.</p><p>Takemichi had to look away.</p><p>“How long’s it been?” He asked quietly, sitting down next to him.</p><p>“Couple’a months,” Takemichi mumbled. Two months and 1 week. 64 days. A little over 64 packs.</p><p>
  <em> If the flowers didn’t get him, the lung cancer would. </em>
</p><p>“You gonna tell ‘im?” he asked. Because, of course, Daiya knew that Takemichi didn’t like women like that, and he treated him the same. Takemichi still wasn’t sure what karma he cashed to make <em> that </em>happen.</p><p>Hell, maybe he even knew it was Mondo. Takemichi felt like it was obvious- his feelings were burned into his skin like a branding iron, and they were on full display for anyone to see. Maybe it was pitiful.</p><p>“Wouldn’t matter.” He didn’t love him- wouldn’t, in this reality or any other. Couldn’t. Even if he<em> did </em> like men.</p><p>“Then yer gonna get the surgery, right?” He was starting to sound frantic. Takemichi couldn’t find it in himself to answer, so he just looked away. “No, c’mon. Is it money? We can help. You- it’s gonna be okay, got it? We’re gonna…”<br/>He trailed off as Takemichi shook his head. “None’a that. Don’t worry about it.”<br/>“Don’t w- Takemichi, we’re not just gonna let you <em>fucking die!</em>”</p><p>“Keep yer voice down,” Takemichi hissed. “What, you just gonna sedate me and drag me to the hospital?”<br/>“If that’s what’s gonna keep you <em>alive-</em>”</p><p>“I said, keep yer voice down. You want the rest of the gang to know I’m-” Hopeless? A gay idiot? Paying the price for falling in love too easily? He let the sentence hang there- whatever Daiya filled in, it was probably right, anyway.</p><p>“You don’t gotta feel ashamed,” he said slowly, cautiously, after a pause. “But we <em> hafta </em>get you help.”</p><p>Takemichi sighed. “Lemme at least <em> try </em> talkin’ to him first, alright? No need to put me under the knife just yet.”</p><p>Daiya gave him a <em> look, </em>but relented. “Alright. Get it done quick, okay? The sooner we know what we need to do, the better.” At Takemichi’s nod, he stood up and went back into the warehouse.</p><p>At the sound of the door closing behind him, Takemichi crushed the butt of the cigarette under his foot and lit another one. He was just stalling- he wasn’t going to talk to Mondo, and he wasn’t going to let the Oowadas pay to fix him. He wasn’t going to make them live worse than they already were- especially over something as stupid as his own damn feelings.</p><p>16 months. That was more than enough time. Especially when his life hadn’t been much up until then- it wasn’t like he had many loose ends to wrap up.</p><hr/><p>It was months later. He was still stalling, pretending like he’d get around to confessing at some point, dodging the question whenever Daiya would ask. Today, though, that wouldn’t be much of an issue- he was running an errand for the gang, just him and 2 other Diamonds.</p><p>He wasn’t quite sure what had happened- maybe a bug flew into his mouth or something- but he choked, and had to pull over and hurl on the side of the road, about halfway back to the warehouse. It was mostly lavender pods. If it was this bad at 5 months, then-</p><p>He shook the thought from his head and refocused on the two bikers standing behind him.</p><p>“You tell the Oowadas, I’ll feed you your teeth,” he said, wiping a petal from the corner of his mouth. “Got it?”</p><p>They nodded. They had seen him beat up guys twice his size enough times to know not to underestimate him.</p><p>“Good. Let’s go,” he grumbled, walking back to his bike.</p><p>He had just over a year left- maybe less, seeing how bad it was now. That was enough, right?</p><p>It had to be, he decided, starting up his engine.</p><hr/><p>He had to stop wearing his binder. The compression was too much- he couldn’t breathe half the time, and when he could it was mostly coughing and wheezing. He felt terrible all the time, and probably looked worse. And, unfortunately for him, Daiya noticed.</p><p>“Hey, greaseball,” he greeted, flopping down into the chair next to him.</p><p>Takemichi grumbled something in response. He’d been pretty grumpy lately- the blend of the dysphoria and certainty he was going to die was probably to blame, he figured. Everything hurt so much all the time.</p><p>“You doin’ alright, kid?” he asked, quieter this time. “You look rough. Your folks aren’t bein’ shitty, are they?”</p><p>Takemichi shook his head. “No more’n usual. Jus’ goin’ through a rough patch.”</p><p>“You need a new binder?” Takemichi gritted his teeth. It’d be so much easier to die if the Oowadas didn’t insist on being so kind.</p><p>“No, I’m good.”</p><p>“Then why-”</p><p>“I gotta head home,” he interrupted, getting to his feet. The movement was a little too sudden, and he had to poorly stifle a cough.</p><p>Takemichi had to look away from Daiya’s surprised and hurt expression.</p><p>“So he didn’t…”</p><p>Takemichi stared at the floor.</p><p>“You haven’t even <em> talked </em> to him yet?”</p><p>He bit his cheek.</p><p>“Takemichi, you can’t- we’re getting low on time, kid-“</p><p>“I know.” He crossed his arms over his chest. Standing up was worse.</p><p>“You <em> know? </em> And you’re just gonna-“</p><p>“Yeah.” He didn’t have to finish. Neither of them needed that hurt.</p><p>There was a relative silence- based on the volume of the rest of the Diamonds, none of them had noticed, which he was thankful for.</p><p>“You’re not gonna die, Michi. We aren’t gonna let that happen to you.”</p><p>“I gotta go.” He didn’t look back as he left the warehouse.</p><p>Nine months. At most. He’d only have to lie for nine more months, and he’d be done.</p><hr/><p>His last birthday was his eighteenth. He had been looking forward to it for the longest time- no more foster homes, no more moving families every few months, no more shitty guardians. Real stability for the first time. Now, though, that was all out the window.</p><p>That didn’t stop him from celebrating. He knew the Oowadas would have something special planned- they were just excited as he was. Moreso, maybe.</p><p>Takemichi didn’t have much energy nowadays. A lot of it was sapped by the flowers. He was periodically coughing up full sprigs of lavender, now.</p><p>The apprehension was starting to set in as his time was running out. He wasn’t afraid before, but the anxiety was beginning to creep up on him. It felt <em> real- </em> he was going to die, and that would be it.</p><p>He tried not to think about it too much. He tried especially hard not to think about how maybe Daiya knew, beneath all the denial, that this would be the last birthday they all shared together, and was trying to make it a good one.</p><p>
  <em> God, this was going to hurt so much. </em>
</p><p>It was a loud potluck- most of their parties were- with a lot of his favorites. Some of the guys even tried to cook for him. A couple were even <em> good </em>.</p><p>Takemichi couldn’t take part in a lot of the roughhousing the guys were doing, instead spending most of the party sitting down. He was probably being something of a buzzkill, but he didn’t care too much. He was nearly dead, after all, and it was<em> his </em> party.</p><p>Mondo put him in a headlock from behind to noogie, startling him. Luckily, he was able to stop himself from coughing. Instead, he laughed, swatting at his arm.</p><p>It occurred to him that, bittersweetly, he’d probably be able to live in this feeling for the rest of his life. After all, he had a little under half a year left. He could keep the others happy for that long, no sweat.</p><hr/><p>“Hey, are you okay?”</p><p>Mondo had pulled him aside during one of the more casual meetings. Takemichi hadn’t been expecting it- Mondo wasn’t exactly the most observant person. Which meant he must have looked <em> really </em> bad.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” A bold-faced lie. In a few weeks time, he’d be a purple bush somewhere.</p><p>“Are you sure?” His hand was on Takemichi’s shoulder. The weight was so nice and so comforting that he had to stop himself from crying.</p><p>It was probably that, blended with the love stirring in his chest, blended with the small hope that maybe, <em> maybe, </em> he didn’t have to die like this, that Mondo could maybe-</p><p>“I love you,” he said, and Mondo smiled at him.</p><p>“I love you too, buddy.”</p><p>Takemichi shook his head. He could feel his brain swimming, his chest tightening. <em> What did he have to lose, now? </em> “I mean I’m <em> in </em>love with you.”</p><p>The smile fell from Mondo’s face. It was strange- Takemichi had always felt the word ‘heartbreak’ was a little much, but now he could feel himself shatter.</p><p>“I- you sure?” Takemichi almost laughed. He’d never been so sure of anything in his life.</p><p>“It’s cool. Don’t worry about it, ok? Nothin’ has to change between us,” he shrugged the hand off of his shoulder and smiled. He hoped it wasn’t as weak as it felt.</p><p>“Alright.” He looked like there was something else he wanted to say, but opted instead to just nod and walk back to the group of people waiting for him.</p><p>Takemichi was able to slip away unnoticed. He was glad he didn’t run into Daiya on his way out- he wouldn’t be sure how to break the news, and he sure as hell didn’t feel up to lying.</p><p>Even surgery wouldn’t help him, now. He had less than a month left, even with the smoking, even with the denial. He could feel death looming over him- his flowers were strange, he supposed, to flourish in that cold dark.</p><hr/><p>It wouldn’t be more than a few hours, now. Takemichi could feel the leaves as they grew up his throat. The coughing fits were nearly constant now, and produced full blooms.</p><p>Last night, he was sure to leave his bike in one of the warehouses for the Oowadas to find later. They had given it to him, after all- it was only fitting they decided what to do with it after he was gone.</p><p>He was sure to tip the cab driver extra- he had done his best to gather up as many of the flowers as he cold, but inevitably, a few stray petals ended up on the floor. Besides, he figured he may as well get rid of all his cash now, while he had the chance. It wouldn’t do any good where he was going, at any rate.</p><p>Takemichi always thought it was strange that cats would leave their families to go die- for the longest time, he thought it would be better to die surrounded by the ones he loved.</p><p>As it turns out, he changed his mind.</p><p>He faced the dense woods in front of himself and started walking. He wanted to find someplace no one would find him, but with enough light for the lavender to grow. It took him a while, but eventually he did find a small, sunny clearing.</p><p>Laying down in the grass was a struggle. His body, it seemed, had given up on him just as much as his brain had.</p><p>He stretched his arms out above his head, closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of sun on his skin one last time.</p><p>The clearing was beautiful. He hoped that he wouldn’t ruin that.</p>
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